A Loving Life Paul E. Miller

A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships (NF 2014) Paul E. Miller
Crossway, $12.99
ISBN 9781433537325

A few years ago I read Paul Miller’s A Praying Life (2009), a book that continues to change my prayer life. It’s a book I’ve recommended it to others and have sometimes given as a gift. When I heard about Miller’s new book, A Loving Life, based on the Book of Ruth, I was certainly eager to read it. 

Miller does a wonderful job of describing hesed love, which could be translated “steadfast love” and thought of as “love without an exit strategy.” It’s certainly not a self-centered, “What-can-I-get-out-of-this-relationship” love, but a love that gives, even when that love is not reciprocated. Such a love, as Miller often points out, is not based on feeling, which often drives a lot of what we normally call love. It is rather a love based on serving others, a love that loves in spite of the dangers of that love not being returned or even acknowledged. In short, hesed love is the way Jesus loves. 

Miller provides many examples of hesed love from the Book of Ruth, as well as from other Scriptures and stories he has encountered in his own life. The vast majority of the book is filled with helpful, biblical information and teaching. I particularly appreciate Miller’s idea of “God in the Shadows” (Chapter 19), giving examples of how Jesus often deliberately kept to the outer edges of several situations, humbly allowing others to have space in order that faith might emerge. (Examples include the sinful woman crashing the party in Luke 7, the woman caught in adultery in John 8, Jesus hiding his identity on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24, etc.) When we love rightly, we often “disappear” so that God can be discovered. 

A Loving Life is filled with many such valuable ideas based on biblical teaching. I do, however, want to make sure I’m not misreading parts of Miller’s book. For instance, while suffering in silence can certainly be an important part of hesed love, I can think of some situations (such as abusive relationships) where suffering should not be silent. I also felt Miller sometimes points a finger at our culture (Oprah, in particular) in a way that clearly identifies a problem (or the symptoms of a problem), but harps on those problems with more force than is necessary. Again, these instances could all be misreadings on my part. 

A Loving Life is a book that will challenge your thoughts on how we think about love in a biblical, God-honoring way. Please consider reading it.